“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals...” –K, Men in Black
We met individuals in China who were incredibly nice. They were interested in our situation and wanted to let us know they thought it was great. They wanted to be friends. They wanted to help us in difficult situations, going out of their way (literally) to make sure we were OK. They danced with us and laughed with us. They delighted in speaking English with us.
We encountered people in crowds who were rude, pushy, and self-centered. They stared and pointed. They cut us off in lines, often separating us from one another. They drove like maniacs.
I suppose we encountered both types of people on previous trips, but I was much more aware of the latter type of encounter during this trip. I was much more aware of being awkward and out-of-place on this trip.
On Personal Cars
The traffic we encountered on this trip was much worse than any we experienced in 2002 or 2004. And although there are many more personal cars on the road than what we saw before, most of them are (out of necessity) compact or sub-compact in size. When asked by one of our guides what kind of car we drove at home, it was interesting trying to describe a Ford Excursion to someone who’d never seen an SUV larger than a Subaru Forester. And then I tried to explain the reason for owning such a large vehicle was because of the 10.5 meter long travel trailer we use for camping vacations -- for which she had no frame of reference at all. A small house on wheels? Say what?!
On Adoption
We discussed adoption with several of our guides. In particular, we wanted to know if the atmosphere had changed in the eight years since our last adoption. International adoptions from China now routinely take more than five years to process, compared to just 14 months with our first adoption in 2002, and barely 7 months for our second adoption in 2004. It seems we adopted at the height of international adoptions and the number fell off dramatically within a few years. We were curious why they thought that was the case. Their feeling was that the "one-child" policy was not being enforced as strictly, particularly in rural areas. We learned that the policy is different for minority groups, which make up about 10-15% of China's population. We also learned that Chinese families are simply not having as many children...not because of penalties, but due to the expenses associated with child rearing. As a result, there are not as many children available for adoption, and most of the ones that are in orphanages have significant special needs (which was borne out in our visit to Changsha SWI #1).
Still, I would make the following observation: We saw families with more than one child, but nearly every time it was an older daughter and a younger son. I can't recall a single instance where there were two sons or where there was an older son and a younger daughter. So even though enforcement of the policy may be relaxing, it appears that the reality is Chinese families still prefer sons over daughters. A thousand years of culture is a hard thing to overcome.
In any case, it seemed to us that our family's mixed race structure was clearly an oddity wherever we went. Perhaps it was more understandable and acceptable when we were with a group of adoptive families and the children were all infants.
On Adoption
We discussed adoption with several of our guides. In particular, we wanted to know if the atmosphere had changed in the eight years since our last adoption. International adoptions from China now routinely take more than five years to process, compared to just 14 months with our first adoption in 2002, and barely 7 months for our second adoption in 2004. It seems we adopted at the height of international adoptions and the number fell off dramatically within a few years. We were curious why they thought that was the case. Their feeling was that the "one-child" policy was not being enforced as strictly, particularly in rural areas. We learned that the policy is different for minority groups, which make up about 10-15% of China's population. We also learned that Chinese families are simply not having as many children...not because of penalties, but due to the expenses associated with child rearing. As a result, there are not as many children available for adoption, and most of the ones that are in orphanages have significant special needs (which was borne out in our visit to Changsha SWI #1).
Still, I would make the following observation: We saw families with more than one child, but nearly every time it was an older daughter and a younger son. I can't recall a single instance where there were two sons or where there was an older son and a younger daughter. So even though enforcement of the policy may be relaxing, it appears that the reality is Chinese families still prefer sons over daughters. A thousand years of culture is a hard thing to overcome.
In any case, it seemed to us that our family's mixed race structure was clearly an oddity wherever we went. Perhaps it was more understandable and acceptable when we were with a group of adoptive families and the children were all infants.
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